http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php Copyright 2010, US Attorneys Directory.us humor@usattorneysdirectory.us US Attorneys Directory.us humor@usattorneysdirectory.us en-US SPHPBLOG 0.4.8 http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090507-185055
DEAR FRIENDS,
WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED.
THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK.
BUT I SWEAR, I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER PUT
NOVOCAINE IN THE K-Y JELLY!"]]> Miscellaneous Jokes http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090507-185055 US Attorneys Directory.us humor@usattorneysdirectory.us Fri, 08 May 2009 01:50:55 GMT http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/comments.php?y=09&m=05&entry=entry090507-185055 http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090507-184801
The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the husband says, "I don't feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her husband tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She is feeling a little pain but her husband is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are complete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn't hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they are both feeling great.

A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.]]> Relationship Jokes http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090507-184801 US Attorneys Directory.us humor@usattorneysdirectory.us Fri, 08 May 2009 01:48:01 GMT http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/comments.php?y=09&m=05&entry=entry090507-184801 http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090507-182659
The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true.

"Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"

So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?"

The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"]]> Relationship Jokes http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090507-182659 US Attorneys Directory.us humor@usattorneysdirectory.us Fri, 08 May 2009 01:26:59 GMT http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/comments.php?y=09&m=05&entry=entry090507-182659 http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090507-181944
They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men's game.

"Don't they know their supposed to let us play through?!" asked the first man.

The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through," said the first man, emphatically, "Enough is enough!"

He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost.

"Oh God," he said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress!"

The other man shrugged, and said "No sweat."

He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said - "Small world isn't it!"]]> Relationship Jokes http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090507-181944 US Attorneys Directory.us humor@usattorneysdirectory.us Fri, 08 May 2009 01:19:44 GMT http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/comments.php?y=09&m=05&entry=entry090507-181944 http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090216-194306 A. You can negotiate with a terrorist

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A redhead!

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl.

Q. How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A. Say something

Q. How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A. There's a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q: What's the Redhead Dating Motto?
A: The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

Q. How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
A. Wait 10 seconds

Q. Why aren't there any more redhead jokes
A. Someone told them to a redhead.]]> Miscellaneous Jokes http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090216-194306 US Attorneys Directory.us humor@usattorneysdirectory.us Tue, 17 Feb 2009 03:43:06 GMT http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/comments.php?y=09&m=02&entry=entry090216-194306 http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090216-193149
The first man had married a blonde. He bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning herself. He said he didn't see any difference on the first two days, but after it sunk in on the third day, he came home to a clean house and the dishes were washed and put away.

The second man had married a brunette. He bragged that he had ordered his wife to do all the cleaning, all the dishes, and all the cooking. He said he didn't see any results on the first day, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a redhead. He shared that he had told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, the dishes washed, the lawn mowed, the laundry done, and hot meals on the table every day. He said the first day he didn't see anything, and the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye...just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and find the mower in the garage.]]> Relationship Jokes http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/index.php?entry=entry090216-193149 US Attorneys Directory.us humor@usattorneysdirectory.us Tue, 17 Feb 2009 03:31:49 GMT http://www.usattorneysdirectory.us/humor/comments.php?y=09&m=02&entry=entry090216-193149