What am I going to do with you?
Saturday, October 11, 2008, 07:19 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A very successful real estate broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my real estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day and learn the business." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate offices. I can't stand agents and I don't like selling."
"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some the paperwork."
"I hate paperwork," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."
"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of my real estate office, but you don't like offices, won't work in a office and won't sell or manage the agents. What am I going to do with you?"
"That's easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
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Intelligent Life
Saturday, October 11, 2008, 07:15 PM - Politics
NASA was celebrating, they had just made the scientific breakthrough of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.
He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it.
"Mr. President," he said, grinning broadly, "after fifteen years of hard research costing billions of dollars, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars."
He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown.
He said, "But that's impossible ... we could never do it. ... yes Mr. President," and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously.
"I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars ... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
Drunk And Disorderly
Thursday, October 9, 2008, 07:36 PM - Law Humor
Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public place.The Judge says to the first defendant, "What were you doing?"
The first defendant says, "Nothing much, I was just throwing peanuts in the pond."
The Judge says to the second defendant, "And what were you doing?"
The second defendant says, "I was just throwing peanuts in the pond, too."
The Judge says that sounds harmless, and then says to the third defendant, "Were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well?"
The third defendant says, "No, sir. I am Peanuts!!"
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