Proud Father
Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 05:29 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A young boy whose parents were divorced was living with his mother. One Sunday, she decided to take him to the zoo for his very first visit. As they passed the various animal enclosures she would tell her son what they were called and make him repeat it. After the lions, gorillas, zebras, giraffes and bears, they came upon the elephant exhibit.“That’s an elephant”, the mother said.
After the son had repeated after her, he asked, “Mommy? What’s that thing hanging down from the elephant?”
The mother replied, “That’s his trunk, honey.”
“No, no”, said the son, “Behind that!”
“Oh, that’s his tail”, she said.
“No, no!” the son exclaimed. “That thing in front of the tail!”
The mother was flustered and replied, “Uhhhh, that’s nothing, honey!” And they moved on.
The next weekend, the boy’s father came to pick him up and his son cried out, “Daddy, let’s go to the zoo! I learned all about the animals, and I want to show you what I learned!”
The father agreed, so off to the zoo they went. As they passed each enclosure, the son would call out the name of the animal, and the father would praise him for being so smart. Finally, they arrived at the elephant cage, and the son shouted, “Elephant!”
“Very good!!”, beamed his father. “I’m proud of you for remembering all these animals!”
The son asked, “Daddy? What’s that thing hanging down on the elephant?”
The father replied, “That’s his trunk.”
“No!”, the son moaned, “Behind that!”
“That’s his tail”, the father replied.
“No, no! That thing in front of the tail!”
The father stammered, “Er…what did your mother say it was?”
“She said it was nothing!”
“Well”, the father said, puffing out his chest. “Your mother’s just spoiled!”
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A Message For The Manager
Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 05:07 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A beautiful woman goes up to the bar in a small local tavern. She gestures alluringly to the man behind the bar, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively motions for him to bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard."Are you the manager?" she asks, slowly stroking his face with both hands.
Well, no I'm not but maybe I can assist you". the man replies.
"Would you get him for me, please? I need to speak to him." she says, running her hands past his beard and into his hair.
"I'm sorry but I can't, moans the bartender. Isn't there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. Would you please give him a message." she says, placing a two of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck on them.
"What should I say him?" the bartender manages to say.
"Please tell him," she says in a very low voice, that "There is no toilet paper or soap in the woman's rest room."
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