Rough Day
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:32 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
There was this guy sitting at a bar, just staring at his drink. He sits like that for over half an hour.Then, this biker comes up next to him, takes the drink from the him, and drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.
The biker says, "Come on man, I was just joking around. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a grown man cry."
"No, it's not that" said the man. "This day is the worst of my life. First, I over sleep, and I get to my office late. My boss gets angry and fires me. When I leave the building, to get my car, I found out it was stolen. The police took a report but said that they can't really do anything. I get a cab to go home, and after I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver had already driven away."
"I enter my home, and and go upstairs only to find my wife in bed with the pool man. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
1 comment 
I can't do that
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:23 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser for me."
The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to accompany me to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then we'll take a urine sample."
"I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."
"Allright, then I need you to come out here and walk along this white line."
"I'm sorry, officer, but I definitely can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm too drunk."
Something to be thankful for
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:17 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A group of elderly people were sitting in a coffee shop complaining about their ailments. Barbara, "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup."
Saul, "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee."
Elizabeth, "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck."
Robert, "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy sometimes I think I'm going to pass out."
Barbara, "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."
Saul, "Well, it's not all bad. We should all be thankful that we can still drive."
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