I can't do that
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:23 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser for me."
The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to accompany me to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then we'll take a urine sample."
"I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."
"Allright, then I need you to come out here and walk along this white line."
"I'm sorry, officer, but I definitely can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm too drunk."
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Something to be thankful for
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:17 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A group of elderly people were sitting in a coffee shop complaining about their ailments. Barbara, "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup."
Saul, "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee."
Elizabeth, "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck."
Robert, "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy sometimes I think I'm going to pass out."
Barbara, "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."
Saul, "Well, it's not all bad. We should all be thankful that we can still drive."
Hearing Aid
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:14 PM - Relationship Jokes
A rich old man had had severe hearing problems for some time. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a hearing aid that allowed him to hear better than he had ever heard before.
One month later, the man went back again to the doctor. The doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The man said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
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