Something to be thankful for
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:17 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A group of elderly people were sitting in a coffee shop complaining about their ailments. Barbara, "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup."
Saul, "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee."
Elizabeth, "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck."
Robert, "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy sometimes I think I'm going to pass out."
Barbara, "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."
Saul, "Well, it's not all bad. We should all be thankful that we can still drive."
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Hearing Aid
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:14 PM - Relationship Jokes
A rich old man had had severe hearing problems for some time. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a hearing aid that allowed him to hear better than he had ever heard before.
One month later, the man went back again to the doctor. The doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The man said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
My mother allways drives like this.
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:08 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
One day, two guys were driving to a local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red.The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, "What the heck are you doing? You're going to get us killed!"
Then the driver responded, "Don't worry, my mother allways drives like this."
Later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!"
The driver looked at the passenger and responded, "I get it! But like I told already, you my mother drives like this all the time!"
Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car completely, almost getting rear ended. "What are you doing?" The passenger screamed. "This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?"
The driver replied, "That's my mother's car coming over there!"
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