My mother allways drives like this.
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:08 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
One day, two guys were driving to a local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red.The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, "What the heck are you doing? You're going to get us killed!"
Then the driver responded, "Don't worry, my mother allways drives like this."
Later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!"
The driver looked at the passenger and responded, "I get it! But like I told already, you my mother drives like this all the time!"
Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car completely, almost getting rear ended. "What are you doing?" The passenger screamed. "This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?"
The driver replied, "That's my mother's car coming over there!"
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Not much of a truck driver
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 06:02 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A truck driver was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in. The first walked up to the trucker, pushed his cigarette into the truck driver's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the trucker, spit into the his milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the trucker, turned over the his plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the truck driver quietly left the diner.
Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
So you think you had a bad day? Check out what happened to this guy.
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 05:54 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she
once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them.
They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
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