So you think you had a bad day? Check out what happened to this guy.
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 05:54 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she
once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them.
They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
1 comment 
I Wonder
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 05:43 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island could make a radio out of coconut, why couldn't he fix a hole in the boat?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme junk,why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, it gets mad at you, but when you take it on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
I'll bet you $10 he'll jump
Sunday, January 11, 2009, 05:39 PM - Miscellaneous Jokes
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.
"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
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