Funny Quotes Attributed To Al Gore
Wednesday, October 29, 2008, 08:26 PM - Politics
"For NASA, space is still a high priority." Al Gore - 9/5/93
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
Al Gore - 9/15/95
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
Al Gore - 9/22/97
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
Al Gore - 5/22/98
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
Al Gore
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Al Gore
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
Al Gore
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
Al Gore
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Intelligent Life
Saturday, October 11, 2008, 07:15 PM - Politics
NASA was celebrating, they had just made the scientific breakthrough of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.
He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it.
"Mr. President," he said, grinning broadly, "after fifteen years of hard research costing billions of dollars, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars."
He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown.
He said, "But that's impossible ... we could never do it. ... yes Mr. President," and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously.
"I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars ... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
Oh No!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 02:05 PM - Politics
A young man's parents were trying to figure out what their son's future career would be so they decided to give him a test.They took a twenty dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home. The father told the mother, "If he takes the money he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible he will be a clergyman but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."
So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home. He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later. Then, he took the twenty dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took a whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said, "Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined..."
"What do you mean?" his wife asked.
"Our son is going to be a politician!" replied the very unhappy father.
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